Men, Politics and Fire
This is all you need to know - The Fourth of July may very well be the perfect holiday (for men).
First, the obvious - you get the day off of work. Any day that you can legitimately get out of the office by pointing out that the rest of the NATION has the day off, bonus.
Next - there's the politics. Men like to argue about politics, and this day is all about...well, actually, its all about a bunch of elite, landed, white males who were seriously pissed that another bunch of elite, landed, white males far away were trying to tell them what to do, and trying to charge for it. But, its dressed up MUCH better than that. Vivid stories, gun battles, huge personalities - and the seeds of a profitable tourist industry for the Northeast were planted.
Then, there's the fire - actually on this day, we get two flavors, which is almost too good to believe: There's the fireworks, and the bbq.
Its all encompassing goodness when not only do you get to go to any streetcorner to buy explosives, but that you ALSO get the social nod that its acceptable to blow things up in your front yard (unless you live in Santa Monica, as I do - where such activities will get you a weekend visit and a body cavity search).
But, for most - this is the opportunity to strap together a whole bunch of incredibly shoddily made, third world fireworks/explosives, and say - "Hey, look what this will do" - just before the large, potentially maiming explosion.
And of course - BBQ- There are few honest pleasures out there (which men can enjoy in public) like the carnival of animal flesh on the BBQ. Its almost like mankind would INVENT new species of animals, just to get the chance to cover them in molasses, brown sugar, a hint of hot sauce and some salt and pepper. As a button I have pinned to the wall indicates :" If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
To my vegetarian friends, who may be concerned about this festival of meat - take heart - there are PLENTY of BBQ options for you. Not just the garden variety of grilled vegtables, which, honestly, are pretty awesome, but there is a whole host of meat-like products which are primed for grilling. Tofu dogs, garden burgers, tofurkey, just to name a few. All may experience the gentle kiss of 50,000 BTU's just like any other burger, chop or dog.
So, let us raise a toast to the founding fathers, for their vision, their leadership - and their explosives and BBQ's.
Long live the republic!
First, the obvious - you get the day off of work. Any day that you can legitimately get out of the office by pointing out that the rest of the NATION has the day off, bonus.
Next - there's the politics. Men like to argue about politics, and this day is all about...well, actually, its all about a bunch of elite, landed, white males who were seriously pissed that another bunch of elite, landed, white males far away were trying to tell them what to do, and trying to charge for it. But, its dressed up MUCH better than that. Vivid stories, gun battles, huge personalities - and the seeds of a profitable tourist industry for the Northeast were planted.
Then, there's the fire - actually on this day, we get two flavors, which is almost too good to believe: There's the fireworks, and the bbq.
Its all encompassing goodness when not only do you get to go to any streetcorner to buy explosives, but that you ALSO get the social nod that its acceptable to blow things up in your front yard (unless you live in Santa Monica, as I do - where such activities will get you a weekend visit and a body cavity search).
But, for most - this is the opportunity to strap together a whole bunch of incredibly shoddily made, third world fireworks/explosives, and say - "Hey, look what this will do" - just before the large, potentially maiming explosion.
And of course - BBQ- There are few honest pleasures out there (which men can enjoy in public) like the carnival of animal flesh on the BBQ. Its almost like mankind would INVENT new species of animals, just to get the chance to cover them in molasses, brown sugar, a hint of hot sauce and some salt and pepper. As a button I have pinned to the wall indicates :" If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
To my vegetarian friends, who may be concerned about this festival of meat - take heart - there are PLENTY of BBQ options for you. Not just the garden variety of grilled vegtables, which, honestly, are pretty awesome, but there is a whole host of meat-like products which are primed for grilling. Tofu dogs, garden burgers, tofurkey, just to name a few. All may experience the gentle kiss of 50,000 BTU's just like any other burger, chop or dog.
So, let us raise a toast to the founding fathers, for their vision, their leadership - and their explosives and BBQ's.
Long live the republic!
posted by Mitch at 10:08 AM
4 Comments:
Damn...my mouth is watering. Heat up the Q I'm coming over.
Fire in the hole!
Brian - when you start saying that about Jason, it makes me want to lock my doors...
First time reading your blog and in one blog you have the words, body cavity, strap, and gentle kisses........
I'm so in love .....Can I stock you?
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