Brave Digital World

Those who are avid Syndicate devotees know that I am obsessed with technology. So, it is with heavy heart and much shame that I admit that it has taken me so long to jump on the Skype bandwagon.

Famous across Europe for its clear connectivity; PC to PC, PC to landline and PC to mobile voice and video (as well as famous for being purchased by Amazon), I have only just recently downloaded the service (available for free, at www.skype.com).

This, my friends, is very very cool. About the quality of at least, a speakerphone (perhaps better if you're not also using the video feature as I was during the test), this is amazing stuff. True, you can't use it to dial 911 - but you can make PC to landline calls for about 2 cents a minute, internationally (sometimes less, domestically).

If you're like me, and are always around some kind of connected device, this is a must-try.

Join the revolution!

What Is Good?

Well,
To quote California's governor, it is:
"to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women." And, while I may certainly agree with that, I have to think that there is more.

What else is good in life?
This, my friends, is: Dinner; Glen Kinchie; 15 yr old Dalwhinne; 12 yr old Cragganmore; 14 yr old Oban; and 10 yr old Talisker.

If only they also provided the cigars......

(PICTURE OF AD REMOVED)

The Cadbury Messiah

Well, I hope you all enjoyed your Cadbury Creme Egg Omlettes and communed with the deity (marshmallow or otherwise) of your choice.

I for one believe that it is the Church of Hallmark that perpetuates our constant incorporation of every holiday which ever existed into some bland, commercialized excuse to buy greeting cards and those spooky hummel-figures that have the eyes that follow you wherever you go in the room...!

There have been centuries of discourse on the development of institutionalized religion - but no amount of science on one hand and speaking in tongues or faith in the heart of hearts on the other is likely to find one side laying down arms and joining the other (the odd offshoot of Intelligent Design notwithstanding).

So, I must retire to the study, pour myself a nice single malt, and break open the Peeps while pondering the meaning of life, multi-colored avian embreos and the 7 hours of "History of the Bible" etc that I am going embark on with the History and Discovery Channels.

Reasons Not To Work

As I languish here, apparently one of the few people not deeply resigned to celebrate the rising of our lord and savior (or, as it is known around here, "A good reason to blow off work early and have a longer weekend,") I thought I would provide these helpful cut and paste suggestions to assist you in bailing out of work. Please feel free to comment or add your own:

A contest was held by the Washington Post in which readers were asked to come up with excuses to miss a day of work…
1. If it's all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
2. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
3. I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.
4. My stigmata's acting up.
5. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?
6. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet . . .
7. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Wal-Mart.
8. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Hoyas, huh? So I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
10. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
11. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
12. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
13. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.
14. I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.
15. I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
16. I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
17. I prefer to remain an enigma.