Pay to Play
Today, I continue the ritual of paying for abuse... No, not what you're thinking - There's no pleather involved.
No - today, I write the check to, and go to work out with, the trainer.
Now, before you tell me that paying someone to make you exercise makes as much sense as paying money for people to put tap water in a bottle for you...recognize: I know. I fought this as much as the next person. But, then I found a good trainer and discovered:
1. Losing money makes me less lazy - I have a lot to do. I am blessed with a full-enough life with work, errands, and a big screen tv with an Xbox attached. I have plenty to do. But, now, having paid for the time, I make more time to go to the gym, simply because I don't want to be out the cash I've spent for that session. (Yes, I AM well aware that my good health or physical well being should be motivation enough - but shut up - Warnings about liver damage or throwing up nightly don't stop you from drinking, so leave me be).
2. She knows more than me. Yes, that's right. In amidst all the law stuff, porn, sci fi and other things I might read - I just don't devote enough time to biomechanics. But, like other "mechanics," I pay someone who does have that time and inclination, and knows more. And, while I might curse her name for the pain - she does a good job, and does way more than stand next to the weight bench and count reps. Her knowledge of good exercise practices and torture techniques lost to time since the Spanish Inquisition make her a good choice for workout guide.
So - what choices are you "outsourcing?"
No - today, I write the check to, and go to work out with, the trainer.
Now, before you tell me that paying someone to make you exercise makes as much sense as paying money for people to put tap water in a bottle for you...recognize: I know. I fought this as much as the next person. But, then I found a good trainer and discovered:
1. Losing money makes me less lazy - I have a lot to do. I am blessed with a full-enough life with work, errands, and a big screen tv with an Xbox attached. I have plenty to do. But, now, having paid for the time, I make more time to go to the gym, simply because I don't want to be out the cash I've spent for that session. (Yes, I AM well aware that my good health or physical well being should be motivation enough - but shut up - Warnings about liver damage or throwing up nightly don't stop you from drinking, so leave me be).
2. She knows more than me. Yes, that's right. In amidst all the law stuff, porn, sci fi and other things I might read - I just don't devote enough time to biomechanics. But, like other "mechanics," I pay someone who does have that time and inclination, and knows more. And, while I might curse her name for the pain - she does a good job, and does way more than stand next to the weight bench and count reps. Her knowledge of good exercise practices and torture techniques lost to time since the Spanish Inquisition make her a good choice for workout guide.
So - what choices are you "outsourcing?"
posted by Mitch at 10:54 AM
4 Comments:
Funny shit...and I only say that because it's precise.
I tried to outsource my masturbation, but the police frowned on that...
She's hot, right? The trainer must be hot. An absolute babe. Please tell me this is true. I mean, I can understand paying to have a hot chick tell me what to lift and how to bend and who makes me sweat and all that. That's hot. But, if she is some East German discus thrower type, then, dude, get fat and die early. They won't see your fat ass in the casket and they make your face look nice anyway. Save the dough and buy a good big suit for your fat casket ass and have another doughnut.
Unless, of course, she is hot. Then, by all means, sweat for her.
Looking at that post makes me think of my workouts as some kind of Van Halen video (for those of you under, say 28, you see, Mtv used to play MUSIC VIDEOS... strange, no?)
Let's just say that its a step up from an overly-'roided guy in some bizzare spandex body suit yelling out numbers at me.
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